Weekend Writing Warriors #8

I had such great feedback and responses last week, thanks so much for everyone who stopped by! (You can read all previous posts under the category Weekend Writing Warriors) This week, I am sharing the very first snippet from my new WIP, Nightfire. I am very excited, I hope y’all enjoy 🙂

To meet some new authors, read some great writing, or join in the 8-sentence fun, stop by at Weekend Writing Warriors!

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In this scene, Kera and her mother are searching for a new den to shelter for the winter, after Kera and Hana’s encounter with a Shadow left their mother spooked. They argued the night before over the risks of moving so late in the season, as well as the familiar topic of the enigmatic radio her mother carries, listens to obsessively, and refuses to explain. Kera brings it up in the heat of argument, and tempers flare:

________

I close the distance between us, turning her around to face me–her body has gone to stone, but her eyes are breaking. “I don’t know what you’re listening for, but do you ever think about letting it go? Whatever it is, isn’t there–But I am; I’m here, Hana’s here. We are real–Whatever you think is on the other side of that radio isn’t.”

A strangled sound escapes from her throat, and her hand flies to her mouth, as if to hold the sadness in. Tears well in her eyes, and for a moment I see a glimpse into a dark and shattered heart–Mother is supposed to be strong, not broken; the thought terrifies me.

Then she gathers herself up and retreats back into her armor of granite, a smile replacing her tears; she reaches a hand up to my cheek, “You are so incredibly smart, Kera; your instincts, and your heart, are strong–but there are some things you could never understand. We have a lot of ground to cover, and not enough time.”

With that, she drops her hand to her side, and continues on ahead into the woods in search of home—and possibly, something that doesn’t exist.

_____________

There it is! I felt this snippet was necessary to set up the next scene, which is the inciting incident of the story. I really look forward to reading all of your great posts this week! Thanks for stopping by, and happy 8sunday 🙂

 

Blog Post and Novel Excerpt © Victoria Davenport and the Coffee.Write.Repeat. blog

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31 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors #8

  1. It’s hard to pick a favorite line because the whole thing is very well written. I’m impressed! If I was forced to choose I would pick this line,”Tears well in her eyes, and for a moment I see a glimpse into a dark and shattered heart – Mother is supposed to be strong not broken; the thought terrifies me.” I love eye descriptions when they are done well because eyes are so expressive and a window to the soul. Your heart bleeds for the mother, and her daughter. . .
    I’m definitely curious about the radio. I’m wondering if this is a post-apocalypse setting, and she keeps the radio because she’s holding out for other survivors. If there was a malevolent force at work maybe the survivors are keeping it a secret. Not sure why she won’t explain it. Or maybe she’s just insane. Hmmm, not sure XD Looking forward to hearing more 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Nice to see Kera’s voice for the first time! 😀
    I like Kera’s firmness in the first sentence she speaks to her mother. It reminds me of a couple characters I have. 🙂
    I love her voice, by the way.

    – Sabrina

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  3. Liking the idea of the radio that she’s listening to and not explaining. There’s a lot you could do with that radio too: crackly static when something creepy is going down, broken messages that allude to what’s going on in the greater story world. Digging it a lot

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love the last part: “…and continues on ahead into the woods in search of home—and possibly, something that doesn’t exist.” It’s mysterious, like the radio that there’s apparently no reason for. Excellent work, looking forward to what’s to come 🙂

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  5. Fascinating snippet, paints quite a picture of the world they must be living in and I also liked the way the strength goes back and forth between the mother and daughter. Excellent excerpt!

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  6. Your writing is very pure and unique, I immediately imagined the characters and the scenes in my head clearly. Wishing you all the best with the book:) I really hope I get the chance to write one someday!
    keep going xxx

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  7. Something on the radio, huh? Spooky. I wonder if she’s searching for other people, or something supernatural, like spirits in the static.

    Love the revelation that parents are people, too, and not always as strong as children hope.

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  8. I know nothing about this story so at first talk of dens for the winter made me think of a fantasy setting, but the radio gives me a strong post-apocalyptic sense – hanging on to some remnant of a past life. Very poignant.

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  9. It is all very well written – the line “Mother is supposed to be strong not broken; the thought terrifies me.” really pulled on my emotions. Great 8.

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