Thanks for sharing another 8sunday with me! This is part of a series, and a direct continuation from last week’s post (check it out here, or the rest of my posts here). To meet some new authors, read some great writing, or join in the 8-sentence fun, stop by at Weekend Writing Warriors!
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The Shadow moves towards me, but I am not there–I am no one, a fragment, Thud-thud, thud.
Images flash before me, and the world falls away.
My hand grabs the torch from my pack, and lights it–my feet carry me closer to the Shadow, my teeth bared in a snarl. Instinct, only instinct drives me–I am gone, rattling empty like shards of glass in a hollowed out shell.
Still the Shadow stands there–unmoving.
But it isn’t entranced by the light, as they usually are; It isn’t terrified, running away–it’s standing there, staring at me.
I can hear voices and shouts, but they pass on the edges of my awareness–all that exists is me and the Shadow, cocooned in silence.
The Shadow tilts its head, as if studying me.
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This one was a bit easier to fit, so hopefully it reads better. Thanks so much for the continued feedback and support, from both WeWriWa vets and newbies 🙂 Looking forward to your posts this week, as always, and happy 8sunday!
Blog Post and Novel Excerpt © Victoria Davenport and the Coffee.Write.Repeat. blog
Coffee. Write. Repeat. 
Oh, dear! Very interesting Shadow. Perfect, as always! 😀
– Sabrina
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Thank you so much 🙂 Yes, that will become an important piece later. Thanks!
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This is intriguing. Even without reading the previous entries, I’m pulled in. 🙂
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Thank you! I’m glad it did 🙂
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This has such a a moth poetic feel to it. We’ll done.
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Thank you!
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I’m really enjoying these snippets told from the POV of someone that has some disassociation of the soul 😀 I guess that’s what you would call it? I think the interesting part is that it’s anger motivating her because the Shadow has her mother. It’s one of the most primal instincts, and I think it would be one of the last to go. The shadows remind me a bit of the Titans in the anime, “Attack of Titans.” Not all the Titans are equal either, and I think it makes for a more complex story.
I think this was my favorite line, “I can hear voices and shouts, but they pass on the edges of my awareness–all that exists is me and the Shadow, cocooned in silence.” I’m not sure why I like it so much, but I do XD I think I’ve mentioned before I love descriptive silences because it says so much about the scene. Looking forward to next week :3
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Thank you 🙂 Yes, definitely. That’s one of my favorites, too! Thanks 🙂
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I really like the way you created the mood here. The desperation of the POV character is palpable. Nicely done.
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Thank you so much 🙂
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“My hand grabs the torch from my pack, and lights it” that is so strange, a hand with a mind of its own…. I like that sort of thing.
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Yes! I wanted to show that instinct has taken over. Even when her mind is too shocked to function, her body still knows what to do and takes over. Thanks 🙂
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Sounds like this behavior is not typical of Shadows. What makes this one special, I wonder?
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No, it definitely is not. That will become a key part later on 🙂 Thanks for reading!
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Ooh, definitely different than anything I’ve read before. I like the POV and the feel of the character – connected to their environment, yet not. Aware, but not aware. The Shadow’s behaviour is intriguing as well. Looking forward to more WeWriWa posts about these two 🙂
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Thank you so much! Yes, at this point, that is definitely where she is. Thanks for reading 🙂
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A bit creepy. I really like the mood you’ve set with this piece. 🙂
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Thank you 🙂
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I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating: I love your prose. The flow of language in your snippets is so beautifully dark and carries a cadence that just cries to be read out loud. Beautiful work.
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Thank you so much 🙂 That’s a huge compliment.
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So curious! It gets more and more interesting!
There’s some unnecessary punctuation here and there such as the comma in the 2nd sentence. Dash and some commas in the 1st sentence. Same in 3rd. Punctuation can be overused, especially commas. I’m constantly overdoing it so I’m always going back to wipe it clean.
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Thank you! The punctuation is not like that in my actual WIP, I changed it so it would fit into eight sentences. Otherwise the scene would take forever! Thanks for the feedback though 🙂
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I really love the last line, it brings the formerly unknowable shadow into a sort of focus, making it even more intriguing. Great snippet!
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Thank you so much! 🙂
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Beautiful writing and an intriguing situation. I wonder what makes this Shadow different and what does it mean for the main character. Great 8.
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Thank you so much 🙂 Yes, you are on to something! It will become a big part of the story later on. Thanks for reading!
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Let me just say a ditto to all the above mentioned comments : ) Such a beautiful descriptive piece of writing that just sucked me in!
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Haha, thank you 🙂
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Your word choice is so fantastic! Lovely excerpt as always 🙂
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Thank you so much! 🙂
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I especially liked the descriptions of parts of her body moving as if they had life of their own.
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Yes, thank you! 🙂
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Nice mood and intriguing about the Shadows. I’m very interested to read more!
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Thank you so much 🙂
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See now the disembodied body parts bothered me a bit, so I’m a minority of one here (there’s always one in a crowd, right LOL?)….but the rest of the snippet was breathtakingly smooth and compelling. I’m very wrapped up in the story as you’re telling it and can’t wait for more!
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Haha! I can understand that. Thank you so much 🙂
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An intense scene, Victoria! I love your prose: “… rattling empty like shards of glass in a hollowed out shell.”
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Thank you! 🙂
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Love the 8. You paint a very vivid picture.Your descriptions really bring the scene to life.
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Thank you very much 🙂
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This was brilliant, and very gripping! 🙂
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Thank you so much! 🙂
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Very interesting! I’m curious who the shadow is. Great description.
Keep smiling,
Yawatta
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Thank you!
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