Last week I posted the last snippet from the first chapter of my YA fantasy manuscript, Ember. (You can find those here). This week, I wanted to show y’all a little tidbit from one of my two other POVs, Crow. He is an assassin and vigilante for the most powerful drug lord in the Dregs, who also happens to be his 12-year-old sister. He’s probably been my favorite character to write so far. I hope you like 🙂
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In this scene, Crow has just returned late from killing a target: he hesitated, because at the last moment, he saw a doll, and realized the man was a father. Things are black and white for Crow. His targets have always been bad, corrupted men like their father, but things are changing, and he is starting to question his sister’s judgment. She is seated on her throne (made of bones, based on rumors she is a cannibal) and confronts him in front of their “court”:
The same venom that coursed through my veins reared itself in the depths of her eyes–she drew herself taller, all at once looming over the room though her slight frame didn’t even fill out the macabre throne. “I did not think I would have to question my own blood, brother–so what if there was a child? Better off dead, probably tainted with the same corruption as its father–or do you question my judgment on that as well?”
My lips did not move, but she read the words in my eyes: Our father had been tainted, corrupt, and now his venom would flow in our veins as long as our hearts beat–should we die also, because of our father? The venom raged in her eyes, molten, murderous black– I’d learned to still mine, to quiet the cruel, bloodthirsty heart in my chest, but hers was wild, fueling rages that often ended with spilled blood–perhaps it would be better, without our corruption.
There was a moment where I wondered if she’d strike me, one hand white-knuckled around a bone and the other clenched in the air. There was a flicker of something in her eyes, like realization, then horror–then, all at once, the venom evaporated, and it was if someone had sucked all the breath out of her. She sunk in on herself, her hand falling to her side, looking abruptly like the child she was, dwarfed by the throne, and a wry smile curled her lips, “You are right, brother. As always.”
Again, I used some creative punctuation here to fit it within the 8 sentences, so it doesn’t read quite how I’d like, but hopefully the point and mood still get across. It was especially hard to choose a snippet for Crow that would work, since he’s the most verbose of all the POVs, but I hope this one works. Next week, I’ll do a snippet from my new WIP, Nightfire, since I know some of y’all are anxious for a peek 🙂 Looking forward to all your posts, and happy 8sunday!
Blog Post and Novel Excerpt © Victoria Davenport & the Coffee.Write.Repeat. blog